Sad, deep inside….

Ok the last few posts on this blog were about being sad. Those were some of reasons… and mai kab sad hota hoon… jab koi code nahin chalta….. jab 2.2 nahin jaata… matlab choti choti baatein… but today its different…

In life, its very difficult to see someone close to you, Sad. And then when you can’t do anything about it, it hurts more. Why can’t I do anything? Beta sabki apni personal life hoti hai yaar… and sometimes its not appropriate to ask them what happened… its too personal to them…. . And after all this you have to pretend ki jaise kuchh hua hi nahin…. abe bahut difficult hai yaar…. and mai tu dekh nahin paaya yeh sab and went to sleep… magar dream mai bhi I saw him sad… ufff….

Right now I am sad inside…. and I can’t do anything about it….  bas hoping ki that everything returns to normal pretty fast…. becuz being a guy I can’t go and ask what happened and I think I am also not supposed to ask…

Zara Nazar utha ke dekho, baithe hum nahin….  Bekhabar mujhse kyun hoo… itne bure bhi nahin…

Weird Relationships

Just got back from an awesome trip to Kolkata. Went Some Place Else. Its an awesome place with the music and all the chicks around. But more on that later.

It so happened, that in my first year a few individuals meant a lot to me. I loved talking to them. I respected them (I still respect them.). But then our paths separated. They being more social (or you may say I being more of a sucker) had totally a different kinda society than me, although we all were living in the same place. For two years I met then on a particular day of the year, which I felt, was done just becuz it had to be done. So I decided that what the hell…. what is the meaning of this particular day… when we don’t meet the whole year. Thus for the next two years I didn’t meet them on that particular day of the year.

But I, being a total sucker, also committed a felony, which has now become a pain in the ass. Whenever I saw these individuals I would try to avoid talking to them. It was not becuz I had lost respect for them, or I didn’t want to talk or I had wired things in mind… but it was becuz I was confused as to what to do. Should I start a conversation.. or should I say… “Arrey yaar tum tu milte hi nahin”… what should I say??? So I always took the easier way… which was to overlook/avoid them, whenever they were around. I know this is a big mistake. This isn’t the solution. I know I am a dog.

Now the problem is that in a few days we all will leave this place and there is hardly any chance that I might meet these individuals. But I don’t want to end this “Relationship” this way. I want to sort things out. I want to tell them that there was no particular reason for my odd behavior but just that I am not as social as them and and I also suck at talking/conversing. I want to make it up to them… I want to restore the relationship that was there in the starting…

But I think a lot of water has flown since we chatted for hours…

But every problem has a solution. Then what is the solution to this one? Should I call them and tell them all of this? ..Na… they will think this guy is totally mad… But I want to tell them that there is nothing wrong with me and I still have the same respect for them.

Any Ideas how to go abt this??

NOTE: If you have recognized the individuals I am talking about, please don’t write their names anywhere.  I Respect their privacy.

One thing more… I wonder what they might think of me…. maniac.. Weird…. and what about the people related to them who know I have been behaving this way… my god… I am a pig.