Jane kya chahe man… bavra

Well below is graph of an feeling that has been with me for the last 4 months or so. The graph axis are intensity of the feeling Vs Time. (The indices on timeline axis are Oct 2007, Dec 2007, Jan 2008 and Mid Jan 2008 respectively)

Well whenever the sharp drop occurs, it really really hurts. But I tell you, it would be better/great if the graph remians at a constant now. I really don’t want an another spike. I will try hard and certainly ensure that it doesn’t repeat.

bechain

Naadaan yeh dil, na jaane kitne sapne sanjo baitha,

Har pal bas tumhare khayalo main hi hai rehta,

kitna bhi samjhao, hosh hi mai nahin aata,

behoshi ke aalam mai, bas aas tumhari hai lagaye baitha.

 

Kyun lagta hai isse ki milega tumhara saath,

hoga mere haathon main tumhara haath,

tootenge ek din iske saare khawab,

 Tadpe ga dard se, mangega sharab.

right on the edge

chillana chahte hai hum,

par lagta hai ki jaise aawaz hi nahi hai,

gum baatna chahte thhe hum,

magar koi sunne ko tayiyaar hi nahi hai,

rona chahte thhe hum,

magar kabhakhat aankho main aansoo hi nahin hai,

Jeena chahte thhe hum,

magar ab tu iccha hi nahin hai.

vichlit man

Na jaane kyun,

bechain hai yeh man,

Samete hue hai,

na jaane kitne armaan,

Yeh jaan kar bhi,

ke nahin kuchh apni Bisat,

dekhte hi rehta hai,

unki rah.

Vichlit Man

Karte rahe hum,

    Intezaar din bhar

Socha tha baatenge,

    aaj ka safar

vo aaye, dekhi humari rah,

    tab hum na thhe yahan.

 

Sad, deep inside….

Ok the last few posts on this blog were about being sad. Those were some of reasons… and mai kab sad hota hoon… jab koi code nahin chalta….. jab 2.2 nahin jaata… matlab choti choti baatein… but today its different…

In life, its very difficult to see someone close to you, Sad. And then when you can’t do anything about it, it hurts more. Why can’t I do anything? Beta sabki apni personal life hoti hai yaar… and sometimes its not appropriate to ask them what happened… its too personal to them…. . And after all this you have to pretend ki jaise kuchh hua hi nahin…. abe bahut difficult hai yaar…. and mai tu dekh nahin paaya yeh sab and went to sleep… magar dream mai bhi I saw him sad… ufff….

Right now I am sad inside…. and I can’t do anything about it….  bas hoping ki that everything returns to normal pretty fast…. becuz being a guy I can’t go and ask what happened and I think I am also not supposed to ask…

Zara Nazar utha ke dekho, baithe hum nahin….  Bekhabar mujhse kyun hoo… itne bure bhi nahin…

Dukhi :(

Aaj main thoda dukhi types mood mai hoon…  Ab dukhi kyun hoon… yeh main nahin bata sakta. Bahut choti si kahani hai, but this kahani forms an important part of my life nowadays.

Vaise mera dukh pal dar pal badta ja raha hai… and lag raha hai ki bas kisi pal… phat jayega mera dil is dukh ke kaaran… dard hona tu shuru ho gaya hai….

Kaafi kaam kara hai aaj mene and laga diya hai finally sab crawl pe… kam se kam do din tu chalega crawl… ab finally mera peace marne ka time aaya tu yeh dukhi feeling aa gyai main mere saaf swach man mai….

Pata abhi subah ke 6 baj rahe hai… mera sone a bilkul man nahi kar raha… bas lag raha hai ki kucch bhi kar llon and so uoon na…

yaar aisa kyun hota hai life mai… man bahut bhari bhari ho jaata hai… lagta hai ki rona chahiye… but aasoon aake nahin dete saale…. aur pata hai aise time pe koi gam baatne ke liye bhi nahin milta…. vaise mai kiske saath baat sakta hoon isse.. ek ko chod ke aur koi nahin…

Koi baat nahin magar… aaj dukhi hai tu kya hua… baaki time tu mai generally khush rehta hoon… kabhi kabhi dukhi bhi hona chahiye… varna khushi ki importance chali jaati hai…

chalo jao ab… lemme enjoy my dukh… aur haan agar mai heart attack se mar gaya tu iska jimmedar bas IIT Kgp hoga…. yaad rakhna…

tata